How to Resolve Any Argument

“We always argue.” 

I’ve heard this many times. Between husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, co-workers, siblings, even a horse owner and her horse. 

We each want to blame the other guy. “It’s his fault we argue all the time” , “If she wasn’t so hard-headed”.  But the harsh truth is it takes two to have an argument.  

An argument takes place when two individuals each think themselves right.  Let’s look at Betty and her husband Adam.  They are arguing about getting their house re-shingled. Betty believes they should wait another year until they have a bit more money put away.  She believes she is right.  Adam believes they should get it done this year to prevent water damage.  He believes he is right.   How can different opinions both be right?  Betty is right for Betty and Adam is right for Adam.  The trick is for Betty to put herself in Adam’s shoes and Adam must put himself in Betty’s shoes.  To see the other’s point of view is called empathy and it is the only way to solve an argument.  It is not about “winning” and “losing”; it’s about mutual understanding.

Check out How to Transform any Argument